..

mountains mountains and mountains sees i as the world looked like a torrent and oh! how it looked.
p.s poem check.
computer offs and ons and nothing goes off my head
na me na yu. na this na that. nathing.
For the world, the world is a bunch of dreams and dreams are bunch of worlds.
what what is matters not. what where is matters not. why. why it is. quiet matterable. srisri phonks in my head like d. underground man. nada comes back as it goes back. its all nor a big deal sees i, after that 19-20 years of spiteful masturbation. The flame of tobacco moving red dress, dog, hair lights and unlitten dark streets of suddha gunta palya. candle lit whiskey faces. whiskey shops.telugu voices kannada noises. thoughtless lines lineless thoughts. nice book was it was. its still nice, as its not yet ended. "He was wearing an old and hopelessly ragged black dress coat, with all its buttons missing except one, and that one he had buttoned, evidently clinging to this last trace of respectability."
ruggedly nice piece.
whats that i search for in these meaning filled empty words.nothing. and suddenly these lines

"Good night," the other said. Turning off the electric light he continued the conversation with himself, It was the light of course but it is necessary that the place be clean and pleasant. You do not want music. Certainly you do not want music. Nor can you stand before a bar with dignity although that is all that is provided for these hours. What did he fear? It was not a fear or dread, It was a nothing that he knew too well. It was all a nothing and a man was a nothing too. It was only that and light was all it needed and a certain cleanness and order. Some lived in it and never felt it but he knew it all was nada y pues nada y naday pues nada. Our nada who art in nada, nada be thy name thy kingdom nada thy will be nada in nada as it is in nada. Give us this nada our daily nada and nada us our nada as we nada our nadas and nada us not into nada but deliver us from nada; pues nada. Hail nothing full of nothing, nothing is with thee. He smiled and stood before a bar with a shining steam pressure coffee machine.

blogger

psychey movie. not bad one. quiet unreal. they shoudnt ve killed him. anyways thats just a movie. dreaming badly since 25the setember. its nise. very terribly nise. memoirs comming abackk. trying hard to deviate: the most impossiblest thing. may be i should watch some movie in that theater. who 'd do psych project? your awwa? ajji? no. i love her. reading underground notes. trying to continue it. no money. no.. just dont feel like remembering my having it. terribly idiotic. may be idiocentric! bastard!@. drrams coming again. but this time not so terrible.cause i dont leave carbon particles anymore. laugh. laugh if you want. but thats exactly the opposite intention of what ia am tryiing to mean. today was a very nice day. i met the biggest king of the nine planets. dont talk rubbish. sorry. yeas. eyecheck up. they asked me to wear that invisible things. proffesional ethics. shivaji not so bad. a good translator helped me out this time, the third time. i could connect most parts of movie into one string. even that english movie that hide and seek. i can connect the events into chain somewhat. dada bangladeshing. good for me. to believ or not to believe psychology. no. its ok. dont. i am typing this for free unlike the other times. rahul. a very nice name. it sounds nice, not means:Rahul, a popular male name in India, has a variety of meanings. The earliest meaning found in the Upanishads is "conqueror of all miseries." Later use of the word is attributed to the , who named his son Rahul as he felt that family ties could be an obstacle in the path to renunciation and nirvana. The name Rahul mainly belongs to Hindu or Christian communities. Some Dictionaries also suggest th meaning of Rahul as someone who is "Able" or "Efficient". The earliest recorded use of the word Rahul is found in the Mundaka Upanishad, wherein the word is used as a synonym for the moon .

bbc.i wanna draw.

still

still depressed. jvd leaving. met kmr. watching shvji. shit. still d'd. cant talk any more., mostly. cant type too. phases taking over. hoping history to be absurd.
p.s- as dark as the con of man

link of the times

http://www.oikos.org/

http://www.antipsychiatry.org/

why

shouldnt ve attendead psyc. its as if he cuts me into pieces.my head!

werthers final letter

"Past eleven o'clock!  All is silent around me, and my soul is
calm.  I thank thee, O God, that thou bestowest strength and courage
upon me in these last moments!  I approach the window, my dearest
of friends; and through the clouds, which are at this moment driven
rapidly along by the impetuous winds, I behold the stars which
illumine the eternal heavens.  No, you will not fall, celestial
bodies: the hand of the Almighty supports both you and me!  I have
looked for the last time upon the constellation of the Greater
Bear: it is my favourite star; for when I bade you farewell at
night, Charlotte, and turned my steps from your door, it always
shone upon me.  With what rapture have I at times beheld it!  How
often have I implored it with uplifted hands to witness my felicity!
and even still -- But what object is there, Charlotte, which fails
to summon up your image before me?  Do you not surround me on all
sides? and have I not, like a child, treasured up every trifle
which you have consecrated by your touch?

"Your profile, which was so dear to me, I return to you; and I
pray you to preserve it.  Thousands of kisses have I imprinted
upon it, and a thousand times has it gladdened my heart on departing
from and returning to my home.

"I have implored your father to protect my remains.  At the corner
of the churchyard, looking toward the fields, there are two
lime-trees -- there I wish to lie.  Your father can, and doubtless
will, do this much for his friend.  Implore it of him.  But perhaps
pious Christians will not choose that their bodies should be
buried near the corpse of a poor, unhappy wretch like me.  Then
let me be laid in some remote valley, or near the highway, where
the priest and Levite may bless themselves as they pass by my
tomb, whilst the Samaritan will shed a tear for my fate.

"See, Charlotte, I do not shudder to take the cold and fatal cup,
from which I shall drink the draught of death.  Your hand presents
it to me, and I do not tremble.  All, all is now concluded: the
wishes and the hopes of my existence are fulfilled.  With cold,
unflinching hand I knock at the brazen portals of Death.  Oh, that
I had enjoyed the bliss of dying for you! how gladly would I have
sacrificed myself for you; Charlotte!  And could I but restore
peace and joy to your bosom, with what resolution, with what joy,
would I not meet my fate!  But it is the lot of only a chosen few
to shed their blood for their friends, and by their death to
augment, a thousand times, the happiness of those by whom they are
beloved.

"I wish, Charlotte, to be buried in the dress I wear at present:
it has been rendered sacred by your touch.  I have begged this
favour of your father.  My spirit soars above my sepulchre.  I
do not wish my pockets to be searched.  The knot of pink ribbon
which you wore on your bosom the first time I saw you, surrounded
by the children -- Oh, kiss them a thousand times for me, and
tell them the fate of their unhappy friend!  I think I see them
playing around me.  The dear children!  How warmly have I been
attached to you, Charlotte!  Since the first hour I saw you, how
impossible have I found it to leave you.  This ribbon must be
buried with me: it was a present from you on my birthday.  How
confused it all appears!  Little did I then think that I should
journey this road.  But peace!  I pray you, peace!

"They are loaded -- the clock strikes twelve.  I say amen.
Charlotte, Charlotte! farewell, farewell!"

...

was is. there. i. point? think?? eat!? hah?! starve! amzing so think you imitate irritate justless unpoint what are . bastard. hah! i. narsi? unpoint. ungood. idiot. good thinks so? no/. not it. undestand? no? ok.free assosaition? shit it. backing phase. what it? whats it may be. anantpur. school days. dada. oppose. undo. undid. schizo. unauthority. erase. shy? shit in public! or what yu want to more shy. ryc?? haha. dont kid. you re nt. who care? anyways. idealist?!? bastd! yu are. no i am not. may be you are not. so what. you are. yes. no. no. no. ok. why do you think? bastd?! act no!w. no point if you dont. whom is he speaking to? scaresd bastd! ok. die of.no. i'd. let it try happen agaiin. no idiot! i ll wait there n see if it happens., and see what happens. i tried waiting. nothing happened yesday. whhy there? anywhere.
ps-talk to blanknoisp. or other similar thing.
its ok. gone gone. do it not if seen. i can not stick to those gandhian ways anymore. c'mon. give gandhi a gun.
shit!
gbc

things to do

there's no point in what i learn or think.
trans form it.
its extremely ungood to not beat and harm
p.s- remember many times an hr

pps- nothing

boy

"once upon a t ime..." hehe its been long since i used those letters. mo ther calls. depressed."you shd strive yo attain 100 percent att.
poems unwritten
words unspoken
thought writtennot. poetic day it was for some strange reason. every september i seems to ve depressed during 20ths-25ths. haha. its all gad. may be. since 9th.
its ok nice onli but. thats the biological clocky shit it looks like, though i dont really believe in itr and know its all shit. getting soywerther. telugu internet guy.
i wanna write a poem too.
here and now.
the pointlessness of this
this very poem.
oh let it be.. mystery of heavens
and misery of helen's
random thoughless poems. let them be written by the most gratified souls to be born on this plannet.
ways in which its seen!
God! thanks to myself!
i dont believe in you.
how poetic i am.
oH lover of narsisiself
of me that had hidden the most worst schizophrenics ever.
or may be.,
may be its all a hypochondria.
oh isolated sole. haha lagh you do.
hoho cry you seek.
i will try to use my rude tongue and unrude tongue to address you.
my most irritating you., me!
comrade! oh red comrade!
i know knot of the self.
self. gibberish
utter gibber i type.
rubbish. rubbish rubbish!
i walk to talk to contradict.
trgrrrrr says the auto
i wanna type this word "auto" badly since two days.
so do i. gratify my wish.
wish thats childish. she was childish.haha
no! thats not what i mean.
i mean somethingelse. i bet i can never guess it again
eat shit and think like everyday.
break the monologue using another monoligue.
haha how funnyly intellectual you are!
i pity you! i love to pity you! i am falling in love with charlotte..
may be thats an empty sinifier.
haha. let there be mistakes: for, they arouse different signifieds.
haha. i laugh again.
may be, these are the funniest lines i can write for you.

cat sat on
a mat
next to cring man.

mouse!
mouse!
A computer muse!
thin thin
thing
tring.

bathroom slippers
slipped again
into my mouth,

wanna be haikus
flow out of my
hen.

i wanna pee
like a bee
in the see.,
i wanna laugh
like a dwarf
in a puff.
sense
scenes
seen,
auto auto auto.

the dead man
psychoanalysed God
with freud.

dead mans head
butter flys nest
singing songs

dead cigarettes
sexual godmen
dead dogs

crying baby
sitting on a broken tree
with a headless dog

Apsyched highs
haikus inside
underground inter nets

crying men
dying flemm
shitting bats

dog cat mat juxtaposing under the spreading chestnuttree

depressed. acquainted about hypochondria much closely. "what if person suffers from hypochondria of hypochondria..?" asks her.. thats a very nice paradox. its hard these times sometimes such as these when i press me. yes, i enjoy my face and all other things.. but there is something of me thats irritatable. yeah. its this that irritates me: the very fact that i can get irritated! hah! say it again?! yes "how can i get irritated?!" no. i may be amusing myself even now. but that might not be the true thing in my id. yes unconscious. but the truth is i feel something after a sometime. some nadaic thing. God! i amuse myself by irritating me. telling to myself that i cant get irritated no matter what and thus pull me into irrirtation. pull! goD! what a pull it was. i can still remember it! God! i dont think its true. may be.. these are the saddest lines i can write.. or the happiest. i no longer wanna call this blog Dreams within a dream..
i wanna call it free assosiations. may be i shall rename it if i feel normal. or rename it as that cause i wanna irritate myself. No! i am not so deterministic. yes. i am deterministic about pontificating myself. thats an amazing thing to do. well its a pleasurable thing. i wanna argue with rene Descartes. you say , i think, therefore i exist. sorry sir! i'd say. you think that you exist just because you exist and your brain exists and you have no other option but to not not think. what do you say, sir? yeah.. ok you say you give up.!?! but i dont cause i ve already given up. haha.. only if someone knows to psychoalize they 'd never know what this means. means..! i wanna see movies. !i wanna see. now. here and now..
i wanna type more.
my depression ends here!

h. completely moved. nicens food. mothers day today. one thing to notice is that i write short sentences with lot of errors and it feels unnice. its nice in a way. traffic jam. i wanna make my template. may be my 45 rs research on them is not going vain.blog designig complete.. thndhan. thdan. thats the sound coming outside which feels dhn dhan inside the heard. vinayak festival. what an attwempt. i might wanna retain this new template. it almost costs 100 rs! :). came back frm ap. shit happens. ! whaY? i dunno., watched movies. wanna watch some more. attendead two continouos classes. punjabi dhaba. full eating. no fud til now. tshe might visist this blog somewhen befor or after i post. :). feeling pleaent. extermely pleasent,. jus kidding. no chances of getting away friom lazyness or freud. he was a bastard. but n. dont blame. cause he was what hew was. he seems to explain how's. not why's.. ! thoo. {superego: dont show off too much! id:f- off! ego:??oh shit! too much libido!}. if you think its a show off again.!, nice. cuz i want you to think it other way. why will even someone try read this?!

trukwailas

started ap reluctantly yesterday. yesterdays yesterday. yea. seven o clock. unusual start. no direct bus. nice to sit next to the seatless bus's door. nice to feel the sword of the splashable wind. too wannabe inglish. ! no bus there on. onli lorry. home tenseion. lorry 50 rupees inda ullil its coming. so got in. with other 3-5 passangers. full rain. driver talks anantapurish accent. i too talk with certain unslangy way. cleaner a bay. lorry bad condition. no wipers that window cleaning ironic things. so this driver puts tobacco and wipes it all over window. nice technicq. ancient driverly techniq my thtah once did. with no wipers 100 km and full rain. lorry. 60kms next lorry stops. driver asks 50.i give. he drinks sitting on table i ate. mcdowels. with pepsi. leaves table. i find him lying down lorrry innside. phone off. home worries. i slept off. wakes up 3'0clock. lorry stopped. driver drunk slept. cleaner high on gutka. i getting down lorry. only to realise nothing would stop to sms. save my soul. :P . nice. :D very nice.! then what? some how reached home sleeplessly. and watched the hindi version of the check. i mean chek de.
thanks for typing and all that.
yours schizophrenically,
yourself.

come on! can a man... ... communiqueer over. horsly prince. one of the most inorganised brilliance lies there. beautiful journey. no extendead communication for a bigger while. early walkin waking. late coming. scari bustands... oh.oh. oh. absurdest absurdites. the context i left searched me there without actually entring my consciousness. sleepy and tired. very economical journey. realise my a and u were there yest. didnt see me! hah. that though is onli funny. i mean.. absurd. but still.. absurd things seems to would have been happening so rigourously in timespaces. any ways. horsly hills. yea.. and JAM was good fun, though i dint eat much bread. Well, when a joke's repeated its loosing its jokevalue. Asif its some real thing. its far better than nandi hills but. ahh.. i got so scared in bus station. thats not bad. absent signifier of all nice travails. We were luku actually to find ourselves in a ambassador car in the midst of buslessness and a small with gas cylenders abd driver that came with us for roughly 3-4 kms for 2 rs not each for all. then a car. then full roaming in midst of NO2 enn oo two nitrous oxide laughing gas. ! and talk and walk. pride telgu boy with unpride non telugu girls. Oh i forgot to type in the beginning. this is just a fictitious experience. i ll write this in the first may be. quaqua. twa thwa. like that beckett thing. communicare arry quizzeing. what shall i write says werther. ahhh.. that busstandthing. came back late.. ahhh that busmissing thing was quiet preposturous. then caught sumo with li'l kids inside. due to godliness and kids i sincierely believed that that guy and driver were nice and yes they were only that they took 150.the nice thing is that everythin is nice. and rain! Dog! how much i loved the rain there. may be due to no2. i don like it much in bang. i'm scared of it at times too. go to horseley hills for further information. belgam was also nice. ahh i might rite again. again about another things i might have forgotten.
http://wikitravel.org/en/Horsley_Hills

hazaron khwaishin aise liric translaton stealen from some blog

Thousands of desires, each worth dying for...
many of them I have realized...yet I yearn for more...

Why should my killer (lover) be afraid? No one will hold her responsible
for the blood which will continuously flow through my eyes all my life

We have heard about the dismissal of Adam from Heaven,
With a more humiliation, I am leaving the street on which you live...

Oh tyrant, your true personality will be known to all
if the curls of my hair slip through my turban!

But if someone wants to write her a letter, they can ask me,
every morning I leave my house with my pen on my ear.

In that age, I turned to drinking (alcohol)
and then the time came when my entire world was occupied by alcohol

From whom I expected justice/praise for my weakness
turned out to be more injured with the same cruel sword

When in love, there is little difference between life and death
we live by looking at the infidel who we are willing to die for

Put some pressure on your heart to remove that cruel arrow,
for if the arrow comes out, so will your heart...and your life.

For god's sake, don't lift the cover off any secrets you tyrant
the infidel might turn out to be my lover!

The preacher and the bar's entrance are way apart
yet I saw him entering the bar as I was leaving!

thousands of desires, each worth dying for...
many of them I have realized...yet I yearn for more

deep press singh

hah. i cant want beings to talk to me about me sometimes. if its someone like t r r its ok.
i dont change. therefore nothing is hidden. thoo.. its getting on to mai head damn head ya.

reminder: call sn
reminding me of myself lately. idly looks like a soaken dirty hanky. letters from werther "I leave this place to-morrow; and, as my native place is only six miles fromthe high road, I intend to visit it once more, and recall the happy dreams ofmy childhood. I shall enter at the same gate through which I came with mymother, when, after my father's death, she left that delightful retreat toimmure herself in your melancholy town. Adieu, my dear friend: you shall hearof my future career." goethe

walked walked. sticky marx. auto morning. walk evening. not to home. but to room. back here. 3 days railstations, bustand dormatries., no bath. no brush. only eat shit and pee. pee on roads. phobos!
its getting alrighitish. "freud is an f-word." "fuck is a freud word" :P. i am an i-word. how deliberate!?! fathr uncoming. shit. orkut looks like facebook. this is destruction of it. may be. destruction, not destruction. it looses its viriginality now. culture cuorse funny. spelling mistake of course!:P read this . media ethics course.

edit: this picture seems recently good. edit/edit/edit: geetas camera thanks.